Seven Figures

Talk about Typecast.

So, Hollywood decides at last to tell part of Shop Boy’s life story and casts (drum roll) … Will Smith. Yeah, I know. Nice thinking outside the box, guys. Sure, I’m tall, athletic, with a deep voice and I’m smooth with the ladies. But Hollywood’s about fantasy, not Shop Boy’s day-to-day humdrum studliness. Really, just check the photo at right.

Sigh.

And about that working title: Seven Pounds.

I mean, was 7,000 Pounds taken? Nothing in the letterpress printshop weighs only 7 pounds. Dang. Do your homework, people.

What? Did I lose you?

Oh, OK. So the other day, Mary sees a little note on her letterpress geek listserv.

It seems that a fellow believer in all things letterpress had been asked to serve as a technical adviser for a movie called Seven Pounds that’s in production at Columbia Pictures in Hollywood. It’s about a young woman (Rosario Dawson) with health problems who has a printing business. She has a Heidelberg Windmill and a broken-down old Miehle Vertical that she calls “The Beast.” Out of nowhere, a guy (ahem, Mr. Smith) shows up with an offer to fix “The Beast.” He restores the press and wins her heart.

Hmm. The Beast, you say? Windmill?

HEIDELBERG IN HOLLYWOOD: Rosario’s co-star

Looks like somebody’s cribbing from Shop Boy’s blog for their screenplays.

Anyway, look for Shop Boy on the red carpet come Oscar time 2009. I’ll be the dude everyone wants to talk to about residuals.

You know … like all those grease stains on the rug.

Sue me.

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